i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
