currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
