I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
