just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
