his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
