we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
