i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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