I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
