So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
