I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
