batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
