He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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