I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
