took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
