I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
