Walk of Shame. In a state park.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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