loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I will pee on everything he values.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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