alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
