So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
