got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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