5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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