you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
