Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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