I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
