it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
