I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He shit in the fireplace
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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