don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
