Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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