Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
