am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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