I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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