I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just cropdusted the office
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
