in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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