Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize