Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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