yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
