Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
