Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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