i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize