is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
