You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
