his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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