Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
