How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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