Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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