just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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