I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize