Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
