O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
