i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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