That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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