Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
do herpes really smell.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
