So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
