My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize