at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize