I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
