they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
