I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
