He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
