Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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