we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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