One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
