We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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