they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
