it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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