dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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