i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
