Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize