dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
